He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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