Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
