There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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