Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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