I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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