So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
