break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize