so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont even know how to be here
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
