So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize