we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
