I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
