fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
