That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
