i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
