So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
