You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
