elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
