hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Randomize
