I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
