Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
