You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
