dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
