last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
