this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
