I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
