Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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