I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The Olympian is in my bed
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
