I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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