what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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