I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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