i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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