hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
