i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
