Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
