Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

i'm signing you up for texting rehab

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.

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(801): View more from Utah

I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.

(1-801): View more from Utah

We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.

(801): View more from Utah

I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!

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(330): View more from Ohio

i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???

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