I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize