I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
