I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
