I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
