the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
