I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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