how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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