this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
