At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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