i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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