marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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