4 words: hood of his car
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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