Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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