i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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