so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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