When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
