haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she looked like the before picture.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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