ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
