at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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