I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
