Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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