worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
