i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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