I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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