exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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